walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Who died my cat blue again?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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