I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
