I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
