i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Terrible idea I love it
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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