Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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