only you would photoshop your dick
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
