i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Randomize
