Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
