i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize