We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
