is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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