it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
