I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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