So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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