So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
