well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
