my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
