Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize