sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
