This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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