What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
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