Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
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