Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
two words...techno handjob
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
