Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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