Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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