I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
We need to get me chipped asap
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
