so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
