Texts From Last Night

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  (847): View more from Illinois

  Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.

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  (847): Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one. http://tfl.nu/00mh
  Replies (4) Good night (1574) Bad night (1988)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them

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  (989): there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them http://tfl.nu/hqud
  Replies (4) Good night (1069) Bad night (490)
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  (925): View more from California

  I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be

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  (925): I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be http://tfl.nu/7ydp
  Replies (4) Good night (1358) Bad night (2205)
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  (631): View more from New York

  And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.

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  (631): And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic. http://tfl.nu/6fkc
  Replies (9) Good night (4155) Bad night (828)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk

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  (301): please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk http://tfl.nu/n0hn
  Replies (27) Good night (4130) Bad night (1460)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!

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  (603): thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful! http://tfl.nu/mwds
  Replies (60) Good night (3387) Bad night (7792)
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.

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  (262): Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security. http://tfl.nu/k9qf
  Replies (9) Good night (998) Bad night (3304)
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  (212): View more from New York

  Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.

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  (212): Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many. http://tfl.nu/dbug
  Replies (25) Good night (1441) Bad night (3547)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?

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  (605): How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts? http://tfl.nu/1g9l
  Replies (16) Good night (2858) Bad night (690)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."

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  (413): He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there." http://tfl.nu/pomo
  Replies (7) Good night (496) Bad night (3187)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.

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  (216): I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot. http://tfl.nu/mi2o
  Replies (3) Good night (967) Bad night (471)
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  (778): View more from British Columbia

  On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?

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  (778): On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check? http://tfl.nu/1mv7
  Replies (7) Good night (1012) Bad night (326)
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?

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  (234): Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories? http://tfl.nu/bj62
  Replies (6) Good night (684) Bad night (219)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!

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  (512): Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it! http://tfl.nu/uy3p
  Replies (8) Good night (1308) Bad night (247)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.

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  (215): I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking. http://tfl.nu/36vi
  Replies (4) Good night (273) Bad night (634)

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