i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
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I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
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Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
All I want is dick and wine.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.