I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?