oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Me. At least after what I've been through.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol