I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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