How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
