now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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