i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
