I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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