i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
