i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
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My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
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