shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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