i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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