who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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