I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
