People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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