Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize
