at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
