3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
