roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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