Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
