Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
