i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
