Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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