the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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