im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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