WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize