Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
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while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
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I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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