The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
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