I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
she looked like the before picture.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
