i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
