Four minutes until I can fart!
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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