jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
