I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
