after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
My vagina just clenched in fear
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
